Uncertainty is a constant companion in life. Whether unexpected changes in our careers, relationships, children moving out, or the world around us, it comes and goes like waves in the ocean. And as expats, navigating life’s twists and turns can feel even more challenging because so much is out of our control. While all this can be unsettling, it can also serve as an invitation to grow and adapt.
But let’s be honest, it can be damn hard to see a way out when we are in that moment and when staying under the covers feels a lot more tempting than showing up with strength. So what can we do in those times?
Here are a few practices that help me to face life’s unpredictability with more focus, calm, and strength – even when I feel like I am drowning on some days. The order I write is on purpose, it’s my way of going with the waves of uncertainty, not all at once, but day by day…
Connect to the Now
Calming practices can help anchor you when the waves of uncertainty and lack of control kick in. Breathing exercises, meditations, and a walk outside can bring you back to the now. If you are short on time and all seems to get too much even simply planting both feet firmly on the ground while sitting or standing can do wonders.
That is what the first step is about for me, coming back to the here and now when my mind is racing far ahead and all the if, when, and what keep crashing in.
I love using sleep meditations to calm my mind at bedtime – some of my favorites are on the Insight Timer app. Youtube has some nice sleep soundswaves too. To bring calm and joy into my day I often light a candle, use essential oils and put fresh flowers at my desk and the kitchen counter. Simple things, big joy.
💫 Be Kind to Yourself
Life is like a rollercoaster – the twists and turns offer a chance to grow, connect, and create meaning. But no, it’s not always easy. And more often than not we are our own worst critic and think that especially when all is uncertain we have to push through.
But, especially on those hard days give yourself permission to rest, take a breather, and simply be. When we feel flustered we aren’t thinking straight anyway. So, yes, step away – literally – to do something for you. What that is, depends on you and your time.
For me, sometimes it’s getting up to use essential oils and quietly enjoying a hot cup of tea and just listening to some music, at other times I get myself out of the house, change of scenery, bake, clean the house, do sports, binge watch Netflix, get lost in a book… yes, it depends, it’s different every time and day.
💫 Focus on What You Can Control
But, no matter what, the time we take “away from it all” for ourselves should be somewhat limited, we don’t want to end up falling too deep and too far behind. And that is my next step – to focus on what I can control. We do have some control even if it doesn’t feel like it.
While many aspects of life are beyond your control, your thoughts, actions, reactions and feelings are within your power. Build daily habits that foster calm and stability.
What simple steps will help you find calm during uncertain times? Don’t wait for the chaos to kick in, prepare your “toolbox” now for when life throws you curveballs.
💫 Reach Out and Connect
Sharing your fears and uncertainties with trusted friends or loved ones can provide comfort, perspective, and even inspiration. And don’t hesitate to ask for help. Whether it’s from a friend, a therapist, or a coach, reaching out can be an act of strength.
That was and at times still is a big one for me. It’s easier to share afterward what has been going on than asking for support, help, guidance, or just a listening ear when in the midst of it. But often the issue at hand seems more doable once spoken about it. Even if the situation can’t be changed, just sharing our thoughts and feelings about it can release the tension we feel inside, and often we get new insights when we speak about issues, rather than mulling over them alone in our heads.
If you can’t or do not want to reach out to others, write it down.
I found that can do wonders too. The simple act of getting it out of the mind, onto a piece of paper helps to sort that spinning mind and can release (some of) the build-up stress.
💫 Shift Perspective
When your mind is racing, try engaging in activities that bring you joy. Bake a cake, watch a funny movie, exercise, dance, or practice gratitude. Writing down three things you’re thankful for each day can shift your mindset from storm to calm. Shifting the focus can also spark the step to start looking at the situation from a different perspective.
To me, this often happens when I did the previous steps as I feel a bit lighter, less stressed and my mind is more open to new thoughts and ideas. And once I shift the focus I tend to feel stronger, more level-headed, and motivated again. It’s kind of a shift to being more “ready” to take on that challenge that lies ahead. And that leads me last but not least to
💫 See the Challenge as Opportunity
Yes, we are often told to see the opportunities when challenged. While that might be a true outcome it can be hard to see and even consider when you are ‘in it’. So for me, this is something I can only do when I feel a bit more “stable”.
It’s somehow easier to focus on all the negatives when faced with difficulties, and I believe there is a time to do that too. After all, all emotions are valid and we should “live” them. But, challenges do indeed invite us to reflect on what we can learn from the situation and how it might help us grow. But all at it’s right time.
Yes, life’s rollercoaster with all it’s twists and turns and twirls offers us the chance to grow, connect, and create meaning. But no, it’s not easy and we need to take our time and give ourselves the time to feel, reflect and ponder.
So, when you find yourself face-to-face with the uncertainty, take a deep breath and remind yourself: this too is part of the journey. Uncertainty is an inevitable part of life, but with the right practices, we can navigate it with more strength and calmness. You’ve got this!
“I got this”…is my guidance, my anchor for this year (my word for 2025). I shared what this phrase means to me in my Instagram. I welcome you to use it, it might help some of you in uncertain and unpredictable times, too.
And if all feels too much and overwhelm takes over and you want to work through it with somebody at your side, reach out to others, and ask for support and help. You don’t have to do this alone. If you feel we might be a good fit, and if you’re ready then let’s navigate this together. Schedule the Expat Reset session with me.
I’d love to hear what keeps you grounded when life feels unpredictable. Let me know in the comments!
Find your ease, wherever you are, With love,
AK 