We are into our 8th week of the move and it has been an interesting personal journey with a lot of positive anticipation.
I feel less overwhelmed, pressured and stressed and am overall more at ease. And I do believe a big part for that is that I (subconsciously?) replaced expectations with anticipation.
To be honest, I didn’t plan it and was in fact not even aware of it until I sat down to reflect a bit on what has been going on these past weeks (well months including the pre-move weeks).
What happened is that once we had the move confirmed I calmed down instead of feeling stressed out. I didn’t put any pressure on myself to expect the perfect transition, instead, I allowed myself to go more with the flow, day by day. I managed to be in the moment. During that time and still now I focus on what needed and needs to be done just then instead of planning, thinking and scheduling too far ahead.
Looking back, I’m not sure why I did that. Was I simply too tired to even think further, or did the subconscious mind take over in its best possible way? Or did I indeed get wiser by age and with every move? And yes I did slow down over the past 3 years, started to take more time to reflect on being mindful and “in the now” and such. But, who knows?! Either way, I’m grateful for it as I realize now how much it helped me with the transition so far.
This different approach gave me so much more headspace and allowed me to actually “be in the journey” of the move and to stay really open to whatever comes.
Come to think if it, how can I even set expectations when I move to a new country when I do not even know what I get into? After all, it’s a new culture, new people – a new everything! And with every move, the kids are older and react differently (yeay to a move with pre-teens…). In fact, the only constant we take with us when we move is ourselves and the family.
Setting expectations and not having them met,
that can take away a lot of joy and more often leave us frustrated,
stressed out and hence block us to be open-minded for all the new-ness.
Anticipation instead of Expectations – trust me that one feels so much more enjoyable! It comes with less stress and less pressure! Instead, it allows excitement, seems to spark creativity. It makes space to move more freely and any setbacks are not cutting that deep. And meltdowns, sicknesses, freak-outs during these first weeks now didn’t really take me by surprise or upset me too much. After all, it’s all part of a move.
I’m not saying it’s not stressful, the pressure is still there and I certainly have my moments when I just go “aaaaaahhhhhh, no more…”. And when I (could) cuddle up and have a cry. But yes, it all just goes less deep.
And, most importantly I do allow myself to have those moments instead of bottling it all up. The bottling up will only lead to an explosion sooner or later. Oh yep, I (we) had such moves too…Ask my husband about our move to Egypt and the first few months there! We both have “fond” memories of that one. And seems we clearly learned out of that experience.
No, no one ever said moving is easy but if we reduce our expectations and create more space for anticipation we will be able to enjoy the journey of a move more!
What do you think, does this thought in regards to anticipation rather than expectations resonate with you?
Best wishes, to wherever you are,
AK