Often we define loneliness by a certain kind of sadness for being alone, caused by lack of company. But there is another kind of loneliness that seems to spread more and more.
The loneliness you experience while being (with)in company.
Feeling lonely while being surrounded by people, how can that be? Sadly, it is more common than you may think. But it is something that is hard to talk about. It is not only hard to talk about it, it is as well hard to describe when you never experienced it.
It is not the lack of people around you, it is not the lack of having a conversation with somebody, it is not the lack of not knowing anybody. This loneliness when in company is a feeling of disconnect-ness. It creeps deep into you, leaving you empty and worn out while being there and even long after. Making you wish you would have stayed alone in the first place. Being alone when nobody is around is a piece of cake compared to the feeling of being alone in company.
“Nobody ever tells you that emptiness weighs the most!”
At times it may be the people around us, we simply do not have that much in common. Other times our introvert-ness may get the better of us and we are simply “too full of company”. And then there may be times when we seek the fault at those around us yet if we look deeper we notice we have our own guard up. Subconsciously we are closing up, making it difficult to connect. So we need to be honest to ourselves and not always blame it on the others. It may be true at times, but not always.
Yes, I have been there – “guilty” of all the above reasons. I know I am not the only one either. Yet no matter what leads to that feeling, this kind of `loneliness-feeling` sucks. Sadly, typing away on this issue on my computer does not bring any real enlightening on how to overcome such a feeling either. The best advise I may give is to listen to your gut feeling.
Sometimes we go somewhere without knowing anybody and have a great time. Sometimes we are in a room full of people we know yet we get that unsettling feeling of not belonging, not connecting. Sometimes we go somewhere because we think we are expected to be there. Whatever the reason for going, we do not know the outcome of our feelings prior. It can turn out great or let us sink deep into loneliness.
Often though, your gut knows, so listen to yourself! And if this feeling creeps up on you while you are in company – no harm done by excusing yourself and to simply leave. You did your best, you showed up but noticed it isn`t a good fit for you! The longer you force yourself to stay, the longer you pretend to belong the lonelier you may end up feeling. So I would say – Get out and enjoy your own company!
One thing that will hopefully help you – you are not alone in this feeling of loneliness! Yes it a tough one, it sucks and makes us doubt and wonder at times. But, you are not alone!
Have a lovely day, enjoy yourself,
AK